thrive and awakenTools: Calming Methods
Calming Methods help manage emotional and physical reactivities.*
We naturally go into Fight/Flight/Freeze reactivity in life-threatening situations. Our bodies are wired to fight or run from the enemy or pretend to be dead. We even see this reactivity in many animals. It’s natural to have some reactivity in everyday situations, but over time they can become unhealthy.
If you’re in distress and want relief now, go to Calming Now Overview.
If ready to learn and practice a variety of methods, skip to Calming Methods
Calming Methods Worksheet
All of the following methods are listed on a worksheet for you to easily keep track of which ones you want to develop and which ones you want to use for different situations.
Calming Now Overview
This section is for those struggling in this moment and don’t want to learn about all the methods, follow these steps:
- Rate how high your distress is on a 10-point scale with 0 being no distress and 10 being extreme.
- If you’re in the 8-10 range watch the Triple Warmer Reactivity video first, then go to Calming Now Video.
- If in the 1-7 range, watch Calming Now video.
- If you are numb, stuck, have difficulty moving, or feeling frozen and detached, go to Releasing Freeze Mode, then go to the Calming Now section.
Watch the video(s) by choosing one of these options:
Triple Warmer Reactivity
For those whose distress is an 8-10 on a 10-point scale
Calming Now
For those wanting to calm their reactivity now.
Releasing Freeze Mode
For those feeling: stuck, numb, frozen, have difficulty moving, detached, and/or flat. Afterwards go to Calming Now.
Calming Methods
Discover and Practice a range of Calming Methods for the Body, Emotions, and Mind.
Reactivity gets triggered for everyday stressors, keeping us in Survival Mode. To Thrive and Awaken, we want to appreciate these reactions then learn to manage them.
We will cover a broad range of calming methods. As you engage in these it is helpful to remember:
- Make sure you provide a Holding Environment (Step 2) of love and support for your feelings.
- This holding includes support from friends, family, and professionals as needed.
- Be grateful for whatever you are feeling. It is your instinctual nature trying to protect you.
- If you resist, have shame, or ignore what you are feeling, you will likely magnify it.
- Because these reactions are wired into your physiology, give yourself time to calm them.
- Remember you are developing a skill that will reprogram your wiring over time.
The tools Compassionate Curiosity and Complete Acceptance will help you develop appreciation for your humanness. The tool Self-Inquiry will help you be introspective which is necessary in exploring the reason why you get triggered.
Other calming tools such as Mindfulness, Ground & Breathe, and Meditation have their own pages for more extensive explanation and practices.
Watch the video(s) by choosing one of these options:
Breathwork
Breathing techniques to calm the mind and access heightened states of consciousness have been practiced for thousands of years.
In this video, we’ll explore several methods that influence the Vagus Nerve—the body’s longest nerve—which signals all systems to feel safe and relax.
Relaxing the Muscles
In Survival Mode, our muscles tighten to allow us to fight or run really fast. They also get quite tense in Freeze mode.
It’s important to have a variety of methods in your toolbox specific to relaxing your muscles. Sometimes we aren’t aware of the tension until we pay attention or when there is a release.
There is a lot of research showing the positive impact of massages. If you are unfamiliar with massage, do an internet search to discover the different types. Then ask friends and health care providers who they would recommend.
Visualizations
What we imagine can either activate or calm our reactivities.
For example, you can appreciate how certain romantic images or remembering a favorite sports team winning a championship may create significant physiological changes. In addition, we know from the placebo effect that what we imagine can have a significant healing effect on the body.
The research shows that when we imagine something, our brain wires itself as if it is really happening. Athletes and musicians use this technique all the time to enhance their performances.
Life Force Energies
Life force energies have a significant impact on our ability to be calm, even during life stressors.
We can train these energies to bring us peace, resilience, and balance. We’ll use a variety of methods that utilize the meridians, chakras, and aura. Some of these are demonstrated more extensively in the Fuel for Your Journey section of the website.
Behavioral Options
There are many behavioral options in calming the body. If you don’t have the energy to do these, just imagining yourself doing them can be quite helpful. Be kind to yourself and do what you can and feel good about that.
Perceptual Choices
Shifts in perception can dramatically change your reactivity. We are going to cover a few here. You’ll find more in the Exploring Thriving Course and the Reframing Tool.
* These calming methods should not be construed as medical or psychological advice. Members are encouraged to consult a qualified professional about any issue regarding their health and well-being. If you’re seeing a therapist, we recommend discussing these tools to make sure they complement your therapy.
