Thriving Moments

Self-Criticism vs Self-Compassion

By Doug J Moore, Ph.D. / January 19, 2021 /

Self-compassion is one of the more difficult Thriving Tools to develop. We are wired to be hard on ourselves. We push our self to achieve and excel to be the best. This ramps up in kindergarten now. When young children leave their parents lap and enter kindergarten, which is the new first grade, they are…

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Saying Yes or No to Life

By Doug J Moore, Ph.D. / January 18, 2021 /

There are many ways we say NO to life. Can you remember a time you received a gift and said, “Oh you shouldn’t have”. Perhaps you were at a party and avoided talking to someone you found interesting. Maybe you had an urge to learn a new skill but dismissed the idea. We are faced…

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We are More than Our Stories

By Doug J Moore, Ph.D. / January 4, 2021 /

During childhood, our sense of self is based on real life stories around our name, skin color, religion, the country we are from, and gender.  These stories can have a negative impact on us.  For example, a young black girl is teased for her name and discriminated against for the color of her skin.  She…

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The Illusion of Not Being Enough

By Doug J Moore, Ph.D. / January 4, 2021 /

Did you ever see a dog run after a squirrel, miss it, and run back to you wagging its tail?  The dog is enthralled with the chase regardless of whether it catches the squirrel.  The dog never comes back with it's tail between the legs feeling shame and sadness because it wasn't good enough.  We…

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Life Challenges are Not Happening TO me, but FOR me

By Doug J Moore, Ph.D. / January 4, 2021 /

In Survival Mode we see ourselves as victims of life.  If we have a flat tire on the way to an important appointment, we get angry because of what is happening to us.  We are wired to see life as happening TO us, and it prompts us to take action through our fight/flight/freeze reactions.  For…

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Converting Not Enough Thinking

By Doug J Moore, Ph.D. / January 4, 2021 /

Do any of these sounds familiar? "I'm not good enough" "What's wrong with me" "I'm inadequate" "I can't" In Survival Mode we are focused on negative judgments of ourselves.  They can be quite intense and frequent resulting in depression, anxiety, and even panic. When such thoughts get activated our fight/flight/freeze reaction kicks in.  For example,…

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Resistance vs Acceptance

By Doug J Moore, Ph.D. / January 4, 2021 /

It's natural to resist something threatening or limiting.  If you're told you can't have something you really want, your initial reaction is to resist. In resistance our fight/flight/freeze reactions are activated, forcing some action to keep us or someone else safe.  If your child wants to run into the street, you are naturally going to resist. …

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Meditation is Not Optional

By Doug J Moore, Ph.D. / January 2, 2021 /

To Thrive, meditation is not optional.  We typically reside in survival mode which has automatic thoughts, emotions, and behaviors that are a result of our ancestry, personal history, and personality style.  Our bodies are wired to be on the hunt for physical, social, or emotional dangers.  Pick a time you've recently been hurt or angry. …

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Avoidance of Discomfort vs Loving Support

By Doug J Moore, Ph.D. / January 2, 2021 /

Can you remember a time when you or another child tripped, skinned their knee and went screaming to Mommy or Daddy? The parent immediately scoops them up, and rocks back and forth, reassuring the child they are OK.  That warm embrace and love soothes the child.  Within 5-10 minutes they are off and running again…

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Complete Acceptance Activates Thriving Mode

By Doug J Moore, Ph.D. / January 2, 2021 /

"What's wrong with me" and "I'm not good enough" are two beliefs common to most of us.  They kick in frequently for big events like being passed over for a promotion and little events such as forgetting your car keys as you rush out the door.  These limiting beliefs start early in life.  For example,…

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